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Fitting in is not belonging

You may have heard of Brene Browne. If not, her TED talk on vulnerability is one of the most watched of all time. And well deserved – it’s amazing. If you've already seen it, check out her other talk where she speaks about the aftermath – the trolls and the effect it had on her. Most importantly how she overcame that.

She has done a lot of speaking and advocacy on the power of vulnerability, shame, fitting in and speaking up.

I came across an interview she did in 2021 with Lewis Howes, about fitting in.

The sentence that grabbed me was: “…from research, the opposite of belonging is fitting in, because fitting in is assessing a group of people and thinking ‘Who do I need to be? What do I need to say? What do I need to wear? How do I need to act?’ and changing who you are. And true belonging never asks us to change who we are. It demands that we be who we are. Because if we fit in because we’ve changed who we are – that’s not belonging, because you’ve betrayed yourself, for other people. And that’s not sustainable.

This week I launched a new programme in collaboration with Maria Macklin, award winning image consultant from House of Colour, called Reveal The Best You, to address the problems faced by many who are overlooked at work or battle with Imposter Syndrome. It is the only programme of its kind and offers a suite of options which can be tailored to the client’s specific needs. The outcome is that clients grow in confidence through building their resilience, activating their leadership, taking control of - and strengthening - their own unique professional presence.

Pop over to our new website and have a look. If you would like to explore how we can help you to be seen, visible and heard, contact either of us.

Have you ever felt you had to change yourself to fit in? Are you doing it in your current role?

If so, it’s time to be you.

In the history of the planet there have been approximately 17 billion humans. But you’re the only you there ever has been or ever will be. So be you. Unapologetically and fully - you.

Until next time, take care,



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