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I felt a sense of returning…

Updated: Nov 12, 2021

As I wait for my TEDx talk to be published live (hopefully end Aug), I am still feeling the warmth from all your lovely messages, thank you all! I have also been doing what I say – living in the happy moment as long as I can, not brushing it aside to get on with the next thing. It was an enormous moment for me, not just because of the privilege of standing on that red circle.

Because it took place in Derry – a place where one of my grandparents grew up.

A place where I must have relatives, but I don’t know them so I wouldn’t recognise them. I don’t know them because of a family divided in two.

A place where judgement and shame resulted in a son being disowned because he married a girl from ‘the other side’ in the 1930s.

A place where in 2021 hotel staff, people on the streets and new work colleagues (now friends for life) warmly welcomed me, the grand-daughter of that son.

As I drove into the city and across the bridge, I felt a sense of returning, even though I’ve never been there before.

I went for a walk and sat beside the river, feeling the ground beneath my feet. Ancient ground. The sacred land of my predecessors. (If you ever get a chance to do this, I highly recommend it. It’s the most wonderful grounding experience). I called them to me and asked them to stand beside me the following day to make sure I didn’t mess up my important message.

The next day I stood on the red circle and felt deeply rooted as I spoke. They had turned up. I could sense them there with me – full of pride in their daughter from the next century. They strengthened my heart and voice for my talk about judgement and shame, and what it’s costing us.

On one hand, I can’t wait for my ‘idea worth sharing’ to be live, but equally, I’m happy to wait patiently, knowing it’s on the way. Still grounded. Still surrounded by support from my network of gorgeous, kind, loving, and generous people – thank you all again, more than I can say.


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