Is there anything more heart-sinking or gut-wrenching than being in a conflict situation or conversation? Most of us would do anything to avoid it. But it’s unavoidable at times. That’s life. People don’t always agree with us or what we have done. Sometimes we can sense an impending conflict before anyone has spoken a word because we know we have to say something that won’t be appreciated. Sometimes we ‘know’ the response we will get. Occasionally our worst fears come tr

“Just when you think you’re on a roll…” “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans…” “The Universe had different ideas…” Sometimes the obstacles we face seem insurmountable. The wall seems too high. We can’t see over it or through it and it’s causing a hard stop in our journey. Here are a few things to consider about those walls: Two stacked bricks will seem like a wall when we are tired. ‘What we pay attention to expands’ – John Maxwell. Staring at the wall ma

Here’s a ‘get out of jail free’ card: You don’t need to see a path forward for everything straight away. It’s often not possible.  When you can, park a decision that feels uncomfortable, and certainly park having to give any explanation until you are ready. Reflect first.  And then take action. Reflection is good to a point.  It is crucial to give your mind time to process a tricky situation, to allow any stress hormones to dissipate (a process that takes up to 26 hours), and

All is well now, but last week I had a family emergency that needed my full attention. My diary had to be hastily cleared.  I had to ramp up my own self-care to be sure I could hold the fort and hold the ‘safe space’ for everyone else to cope and recover.   I had to be really aware of the effects of stress, that it was acute and severe, that my immune system would dip when the crisis was over (and indeed it did try to!) and I needed to mitigate that. But that all worked out f

Public speaking is often listed among the top causes of anxiety, but you can totally manage those nerves using your own physiology. You don’t need medication, liquid courage or your favourite lucky charm in your pocket. You already have what you need. Most of the anxiety during public speaking is caused or exacerbated by forgetting to breathe. Our brain then goes into panic mode about that, which we interpret as panic about speaking. The average adult has a lung volume of

It followed a survey of 2,000 workers which found that a quarter of them reported that their employer expected them to answer calls or emails outside of work hours. It made the news on Mental Health Day, but was also flagged in August when Ireland’s Minister for Business, Enterprise and Innovation Heather Humphreys announced that an interdepartmental group had been set up to explore the issue and make recommendations before the end of the year. You don’t have to wait for the

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It has become so prevalent that the World Health Organization (WHO) added burnout to its International Classification of Diseases, IDC-11,  describing it as a syndrome “resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed…” There are many ways to avoid or manage burnout, one proven tactic is to have a hobby that’s purely for leisure.  Nowadays w

‘Closing the barn door after the horse has bolted’ is a common expression to describe the futility of closing the gate too late. Did you know that there is a way to ‘close the gate’ of your mind – to be more focused, less distracted, better able to concentrate, and happier, every day? The latest video I’ve uploaded to The Resilience Hub explains in detail how to do it with a demo and the neuroscience behind it so that you will have a better understanding of how it works. If y

The Resilience Hub will find a brand new section in there today, called ‘You Have What You Need‘ This will be a collection of short videos explaining some aspect of your human physiology that’s in place already, that you may not know is there, that you can harness to build resilience and manage stress, and that you can use to your advantage. The beauty of this is that you don’t need to have a certain level of education or IQ.  You don’t need to be any particular personality t

There are many reasons for this but one cause is the stress of working harder to finish up before our time off. We’re in a state of well-being when there is a gentle ebb and flow of hormones. Small amounts of stress are beneficial: – cortisol helps us to metabolise cholesterol – and adrenaline fights off cold viruses With small amounts our body bounces back easily. But, when we have excessive stress our body loses its balance and bounces back too far at first, and our immune

But there’s coaching principle called ‘Pausing for Performance’… …and the best example of how it works is think how you’d feel if you worked all day and through the night.  How productive would you be the following day? If you have ever woken up refreshed after sleep or a nap or if you have ever had a great idea in the shower or at traffic lights – that’s because actually your brain has been allowed to pause for performance and you can see how that has given you new motivatio

There is plenty of guidance and advice for exam students at the moment online, but what about their worried parents, guardians, aunties, uncles, grandparents, and all who love them? I have created a video guide for anyone who has an exam student in their midst and it is available to view now in the new Parenting section of The Resilience Hub. It includes practical tips on how you can help the teenager in your life through this stressful time, with simple explanations of the r

We all know that stress doesn’t feel good, but did you know what effects it has on your individual organs? Here is a tour of your body in the minutes after a stressful trigger… SKIN: pales as blood diverted to vital organs. HEART: begins to pound, sending blood around body carrying sugar (energy) and hormones (eg. adrenalin) MUSCLES: tense in readiness for action. LUNGS: air passage dilates, breathing becomes more intense to provide more oxygen to feed increase blood supply.

You can imagine the scene.  The noise.  The screeching.  Chimpanzees running around wildly.  Some inconsolable.  Youngsters huddling under the big arms of their parents.  Parents rushing to scoop up their youngsters and carry them away from danger. They would be fraught with worry.  Needing reassurance but unable to hear it. Sometimes this scene is borne out within our own minds when we feel threatened. Our mind screeching.  Irrational and excessive reactions.  Unable to reas

If you long for the peaceful vibe of this picture just look inside yourself. Mindfulness is the best way to do that, so download an app or go to a mindfulness practitioner. It has been proven to have really positive benefits on mental health and stress management. No time? Sit now, for 60 seconds and let your mind wander freely. No judgement, just let it go where it wants to. Gently listen to the sounds around you. Notice what’s happening in your body; your core, your heart,

In April 2001, Commander Chris Hadfield suited up and went outside the International Space Station with a colleague to do some work. A few minutes later, the oil and soap mixture that was used to keep his visor clean got into his eye.  It stung his eye very badly and his eye teared up.  In zero gravity tears don’t fall out of the eye – they remain on the surface of the eye, effectively creating a pool of water between the eyelids.  The more his eye got irritated the more tear

To develop your level of resilience, your mindset must be programmed so that you are ‘Open for Business‘ in terms of personal growth. Experiences (both good and bad) are a wasted opportunity for personal growth if you don’t reflect on them and identify what you have learned from them. In the Resilience Hub this week there is a new video with 14 ways to make small changes in attitude and behaviour, that will ultimately help create and embed a resilient mindset. If you haven’t