This week I had the pleasure of being a guest on the ‘Mind You’ podcast with the amazing Brian Barnes Wellbeing Brian is from the same ‘village’ as me in that he is a nurse too and now also works in the areas of mindfulness, self-care, resilience, mental health and coaching, so we could have chatted all day! I spoke about my journey in nursing, burning out twice, resilience coaching and the self-care I practise every day, having learned my lesson the hard way! #mentalhealth #

Image credit: Krzysztof Niewolny Unsplash.com Have you ever heard of the process a butterfly has to go through to get out of its cocoon? They struggle. A lot. People (particularly children) who might see this are tempted to help. However, the butterfly must go through the struggle alone because the physical effort needed to break the seal and wriggle free also pushes fluid from its body into its wings. If they don’t go through that exertion their body remains full of fluid

Does it seem a bit fluffy, as if it’s something lucky people have, because – well, why wouldn’t they have a positive mindset?! Everything is going well for them! Aside from the undeniable research in neuroscience about the universal benefits of maintaining a calm and positive outlook more often than we are inclined to, it’s a journey we each must take alone. But it’s a journey each of us is more than capable of, if we Set our Mind to it. The fact is, no-one else can change

Extraverts, on the other hand, can’t get enough company and activity. They need to be with a variety of groups regularly. Being on their own too much makes their mood sink low. This is why lockdown is a challenge in different ways for different people. For introverts it’s more or less business as usual, or life as they think they would like it to be; except it might be too much isolation which is not good ultimately. We all need the company of other humans, whether it’s in

10 days after I started my dream job as a newly qualified midwife, I handed in my notice. I had dreamed of being a midwife for years. Qualifying was a monumentally proud moment for me, not to mention the moments I was privileged to be see the arrival of many beautiful little humans (including 5 sets of twins) into the loving care of their parents. So why did I quit? At the time, I told myself it was a result of the distress of watching my patient, a 5 day old baby girl, have

As businesses close and new opportunities emerge, I have no doubt workforce planners will look back at this time as being one of huge movement of people in the labour market. People who have never had to rethink their career or do job interviews are now faced with this challenge. Pilots, educators, sales people, those in the hospitality industry and many others are now re-doing CVs and going through the arduous process of interviews. I answered the overall themes as best I c

Is there anything more heart-sinking or gut-wrenching than being in a conflict situation or conversation? Most of us would do anything to avoid it. But it’s unavoidable at times. That’s life. People don’t always agree with us or what we have done. Sometimes we can sense an impending conflict before anyone has spoken a word because we know we have to say something that won’t be appreciated. Sometimes we ‘know’ the response we will get. Occasionally our worst fears come tr

Every time I deliver a resilience training session I encourage an exploration of what resilience means to attendees. I’m always amazed to hear new perspectives from every group. This week’s training session was no different. Participants broke it down to different kinds of resilience including frontline staff who come home from a tough day and have to quickly turn around a few hours later and go back in to face more. I was picturing an airplane being ‘turned around’ betwee

The season is turning, for sure. There has been a crispness in the air for the last few days. Some brown leaves fell in front of me this week. The swallows are preparing for their long journey ahead, stretching their muscles, swooping up and down and practising their chirping communications. They will be gone in a few days. For many people the summer of 2020 has been difficult to bear because travel is more or less forbidden. If you are feeling sad about this, the reason

This week’s topic is the other most requested issue – Confidence. Without asking each respondent individually, I assume this meant that people are feeling fear and want to overcome it because it stops them achieving what they want. The most powerful tip I can give you is this: Fear is a sign you are doing the right thing. Think about what causes your fear.  Whether it’s approaching a boss to request a pay rise, or launching a new business or putting a video out on social medi

You may be still worried about your own health or the health of someone close to you.  You may be conscious that the virus is still out there, albeit in smaller numbers for now. I believe everyone has the right to make their own risk assessment.  I also believe you don’t have to go into great personal detail to persuade others to come around to your way of thinking.  They don’t have to agree with you.  They just need to know what your decision is and respect it. It can be dif

I saw this picture and thought, ‘What a beautiful place to live!’. Then I wondered if the people who live there appreciate how pretty it is. Would they look at where I live and wistfully think the same thing?! Familiarity sometimes becomes a fog that prevents us from seeing what’s right in front of us.  When is the last time you looked at your home and surroundings with fresh eyes?  Can you think back to a time, years ago, when you day-dreamed about what your future home woul

Here’s a ‘get out of jail free’ card: You don’t need to see a path forward for everything straight away. It’s often not possible.  When you can, park a decision that feels uncomfortable, and certainly park having to give any explanation until you are ready. Reflect first.  And then take action. Reflection is good to a point.  It is crucial to give your mind time to process a tricky situation, to allow any stress hormones to dissipate (a process that takes up to 26 hours), and

This week as we all very tentatively and gradually emerge from the ‘lockdown life’, what do you want to expand in your future? Hope, opportunity, a safe future, health, reconnection with others? If you focus on the negatives, the losses and challenges – they will expand in your life.  Do you want that? How about instead focusing on what you want to feature more in your future life.  Then keep turning towards that. How? Put a picture of it somewhere you spend a lot of time. Pu

The vast majority of us don’t do it.  Most people judge those who do – silently or vocally, culturally and criminally. Yet, 1 in 3 of us operate our lives (and sometimes our cars) under the same conditions as a drunk driver, because that’s the number of people it’s estimated are sleep deprived. Scientific research tells us that after being awake for 18 hours or more, an individual’s performance equals that of someone with a blood-alcohol level of 0.1% (the benchmark for drunk

A common question, even a challenge. I delight in hearing how others are forgiving themselves more now for stopping to smell the roses, noticing the Earth breathing, getting out in the fresh air more than usual.  Notwithstanding the real heartbreak of missing contact with family members outside our own home, it’s a nice way to live. Personally, I’m going to focus on what I did do: walked more, appreciated every day having both children home from college and school, the occasi

Each generation has endured major and catastrophic events that have changed lives and punctuated the decades.  Each one is ‘new’ and shocking at the time – airplane hijackings in the 1980s were new; flying passenger airplanes into buildings in 2001 was new; Foot and Mouth disease was new (ish).  H1N1, SARS and the spread of Ebola in recent years were new – or seemed new because we were experiencing them for the first time, maybe even first-hand.  Each of those events changed

Conversational small talk online or across a street now follows the same agenda; how scary it is for those who are ill, how tragic for those who have died and how desperately sad for families deprived of centuries old rituals around grief.  Chit-chat about the inconvenience for a generally well and productive workforce is always quickly validated by our common goal; to save lives on a global scale, immediately. The life or death options are easy to see.  What’s less visible i

My coaching practice has now moved totally online, and the issues presented to me by clients have moved from a wide variety to one common theme:  ‘How do I lead myself and others through this crisis?‘ This week I thought I’d best serve you by summarising some nuggets of wisdom from an article published in the New York Times this week.  It was written by a former Army General and a former Navy Seal based on their experiences of leading through 9/11. They suggest four behaviour

13.3.20 I’ll get straight to it: while I mostly coach individuals on building their personal resilience, I also help business owners make sure their businesses are resilient. For business owners who are understandably concerned about the economic implications of Covid-19, I suggest asking yourself three powerful questions: 1) What have I been through before that was similar?  (e.g. foot and mouth, Brexit, financial crash, SARS, H1N1, add your own here).  You’ve managed before